Don't distress about the state of the world. Aim for weekly high scores in "Resilience: The Video Game" instead
Just focus on one task at a time.
A large part of human happiness seems to be whether the outcomes match our expectations. If we expect one good thing to happen and one good thing happens: we're happy! But if we were expecting 100 good things to happen and one good thing happens: we are sad. In both cases the same number of good things happened! And yet the quirks of human brains means we feel different about the same outcome.
How unfortunate.
Changing Our Perspective To Become Happier (And More Grateful)
We can't always control outcomes, but the great news is: we can control our expectations. This seems to be the origin of a large amount of philosophy and psychology, e.g. "premeditatio malorum", considering how things might play out, lowering your expectations.
Another great way to set healthier expectations is to practice altering your perspective. Consider things from a different angle. E.g.Â
Compare your current self and situation to your past self. Are you better off now? Are you more capable or wiser? Recall how things were.Â
Consider someone else who lacks what you have - how many things do you have right now that you could be grateful for? (could you use those to help others?)
Consider the vastness of space and time, the history of the earth and the universe. How brief of a flash we all are. Isn't it great that we're here at all?
A Videogame To Be A Good Person
As a way to practice healthily setting your expectations: what if real life were a videogame instead? Rather than despairing at the world, what if you were a character in a game, working hard to try and get a high score? How would you feel if you weren't overwhelmed by the state of the world, but rather you were competing with a friend to see who could do the best, at this one task, right now?
Would that feel freeing, if the stakes weren't so high?
Would that feel encouraging, if you were just getting challenged in a temporary, friendly competition?
Would that feel inspiring, to know you got points for doing good things and making small accomplishments?
Great news: you can try this any time!
Scoring Effort And Progress In Resilience
Here is how scores work in Resilience: The Video Game
Being a morally good person. Taking the correct moral action, no matter what: 1 billion points.
This is the thing that matters the most. Even if you accomplish nothing else, being a morally good person is worth all of the points.
Taking good care of your own health and sanity: 1,000 points.
Doing arts and crafts, doing hobbies, spending time in nature, petting a dog, taking a shower, eating a meal, eating healthy food, going for a walk, exercising. Whatever helps you to recharge and take care of yourself, that's worth doing.
Making small but helpful accomplishments: 1,000 points
Doing dishes and laundry, cleaning up one thing, organizing your living space, paying a bill on time. Writing a blog post! Actions that keep you moving forward and give you a solid healthy base.
Being a good community member: 1,000 points.
Being kind to others, helping your neighbour, helping a teacher, volunteering, writing a thank you letter, being a good friend. Any step you take to improve life for someone else and help them in their journey
Taking steps to improve the world and your community: 1,000 points
Getting politically engaged, attending a rally or supporting a good cause, writing letters, organizing actions for a better world, running for a board or position. Making the world a better place is not one giant action that fixes everything, but rather the "victory of a million cuts". Each one helps.
You don't have to do each of these every week. But doing any one of them is worth points.
If you reframe your past week - or any week you care to think about - how do your actions fare now? Better?
A Short, Temporary Game Takes The Pressure Off
Rather than trying to fix the whole world, how would it feel if we're just working toward weekly high scores? What can we accomplish this week? How do your steps and victories stack up over time?
If we think of any one week or one task as a short, self-contained episode, perhaps the background doesn't seem quite as big or daunting. Perhaps the stakes don't seem quite as high. Maybe things could have been worse. Here is what they are now. Just right now, this time. We have an opportunity. Let's make the most of it.
Setting Expectations: Frequent, Repeated Good Effort
Framing things in a weekly cadence prevents it from getting overwhelming. You don't have to solve everything. You might just need to do a few things. Or one thing. Start small. One thing is worth points.
Treating steps like a high score helps us to practice working hard toward a good result. But it also helps us to practice becoming less attached to the outcome for any particular week or task.
Did this one turn out well? Great! Good job, the world is a bit better. Let's keep trying.
Did this one not go so well? Oh well! This was just one attempt of many. One score, one time. You can do better next week! Next task, even! You'll get it this time for sure!
We can unhitch our emotions from any particular outcome and focus on the part that really matters: putting in a strong effort to do well at one task, because it's worth giving it a try.
The goal is: correct, moral action in the current moment.
If this helps you with that, try it.
Checking my privilege
Obviously I'm being a bit facetious and tongue-in-cheek here. Many times life is just hard. There are many people without food, or clean water, or other situations and I wish I could reach out and do the work to help all of them right now. I'm not trying to be insulting or dismissive here, and if it comes through that way - I apologize. I recognize that I have a lot of privilege to have the time and resources to write electric words, and I'm not trying to be insulting.
But if this thought experiment to try re-framing any particular day or task as something lower stakes and more detached helps to make it easier, why not consider it? It's an exercise in considering a different perspective. If a trick or technique is healthy and helps you: use it.
Doing Our Best With What We Have
Frodo: "I wish it need not have happened in my time."
Gandalf: "So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
The good life, and the happy life, consists of doing the best we can with whatever we have, and taking steps toward being, building, and doing the morally correct thing. Even if sometimes the steps are small. Perhaps especially when all we can manage is to take steps that are small.
Modesty, humility, and gratitude are virtues.
If we can build tools to help us cultivate a healthier mindset, let's use every tool that we have.
Best of luck on your own playthrough. I hope you get lots of weekly high scores.